what is it like

What's recovery like?

well... recovery is a major bitch.. Now if u mean the half-way clinic... well then that was paradise! It was as if they took away all my problems (which they did) away. No pressure of anything, nor stress,  it was just me and my disorder, and we werent fighting all the time, we were dealing with each other. I learnt to live with it.

I learnt that it is possible, that there is a solution. I also learnt there are things that will never go away like my body dysmorphia :(, my personality and of course my problems with food. I didnt go to th clinic to be cured. I went there so I didnt die or fall deep down  in my anorexia. It worked.

I got estabilized, I even drop a couple of pounds while i was staying there. I enjoy food most times now.. I knew I wasnt ready to leave the clinic when I did but I prayed to god for help. And Im here right now. Situation is.. I hate meal plans, I know what I should be eating and Im trying to keep a balance but Im not being "perfect" about it. I dont want to get obsess. So im just trying to do whats right. =) Is crazy to think that by eating 5 times a day I can lose weight (not important).. and feel better about myself, that my solution to my emotional imbalance is not a bar of chocolate or a week fast but to talk about it.. Is now my decision to make a fool out of myself  or step fowards and do something good for myself for my own good now.