I need to pet the beast.
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11.8.09
danger ahead?
Long story short.. I'm on a diet.
I dunno where did I took the courage to do an actual diet, to stand in front of my dietician ... ugh just so nervraking . I wanna think I can do this, but Its been only 24 hours of dieting and I already throw up a no-no in my diet that I shouldnt have eaten, reduced portions of my meals and had obsessive thoughts about dieting and fatting up with every gram that comes into my mouth, again =/ .. Ive suggested myself to do more efford than this diet requires, to which I shook my head as soon as I realize I'm wrong. What if tho.. What if theres a point where I cant recognize im wrong anymore..
I start working tomorrow. I better go!.. Im
In short; my bulimia seems to be back. Is not a big deal tho, I dont think it is.
I'm having pills of fiber bubbles to make me feel stuffed before actually eating, plus a 1100 kcal diet and fat burn injections.. Yesterday I got 18 shots!! In my hips and waist. Im not gonna lie. I am scared.
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16.8.09
danger Im in...
As usual.. I broke the diet the 3rd day, u got money in my hands you got me goin to evry single restaurant in town spending the whole amount in stuff i dont need to eat and throwing them in the toilet, litteraly.. w.w .. pretty sad.
Ive been giving it lots of thought but I think I really need this this time..
Im getting sibutramina tomorrow.. I need to lose weight so bad.. especially since failing to my dietician diet :(.. Im suppouse to see her at 7 tomorrow .. I dont know ill have the courage to do so.
The pills will make me feel better, Im sure.
Also tomorrow Im going to the beach with my guy =3 .. im soo happy!..
despite it all ^^
TYPED OUT BY THANIA @ 9:09 PM
oh man... it sucks to know a relapsed could be always around the corner... I don't want to read about people throwing up cause I'm this short (fingers touching each other) to go for that.
ResponderEliminarEd sucks!
Keep moving forward hon, love you :)