Back to school

Current Situation: Im retaking a course on Learning and Teaching Environments.

This school year was kinda tough for me, I was continusly depressed, anxious and bipolar and wouldnt attend to any of my classes, no one could look at me like that, I was such a failer.

Sometimes I'd think; "Im too damn fat to fit on those chairs".. or "way too skinny and people wont stop telling me i looked "sick"". - I used to care too much -.  Still do sometimes. Chances are I might not care that much anymore. Cause It's about time I start living, having responsabilities, breath for my on nosals instead of gmas and dads .. Man Im screwed.

First day was alright. I got to be in a new classroom with new people, although some of these people I knew from somewhere before. I recognize this girl I used to talk to -kindof-, but now I can't cause she's disfellowsheeped, which is a term, jw would use more likely for people that have made serious flaws (aka:sins) and as a discipline you cant talk to them anymore, from what I know, it works.. so fine!. Im pretty comfortable being a witness, I  wont change that now. Still, that makes things pretty uncomfortable. Now I also met this girl, that I've met before a while back, only that she changed a lot, A LOT, she's just not the same lil' girl. I like her, so is all good, I guess Ill talk to her. :)

I walked today from school to my house, to what other people in my class stare at me with a typical are-you-insane stare, ugh... people. I end up in a cafe having a chocolate muffin and a regular capuccino.. felt like crap.. obviously, but i felt i deserved it.. I think im a endorphins junkie :(, and well.. since I refuse to take it from people.. man Im gonna grow like a freaking whale!.. but.. no.. that wont happen, I wont allow myself to. ugh.

wow.. i totally miss my point here. grrAARG

Im just REALLY upset I had that.. and binge on other food later. But i have a plan. Im gonna lose weight dang it. :) I gotta take good pics for Paris on the summer right? :)